Some would probably consider my mothering "style" a bit free (AKA crunchy/a little hippy, etc). I'm ok with that! And while I used to struggle with why other moms did things the way they did them, I've found freedom from that, too.... Frankly, who am I to judge you and how could I possibly know the life experiences that shaped you into the woman and wife and mother that you now are. Yeah, it's really not my place to go there, so I try to just not...go there! Ahhh, freedom!! Ok, I'm not sure I can get through this post without multiple tangents, but i'll try!
So, I'm pretty passionate about co-sleeping (safely) and baby wearing and breastfeeding and such. That's just me and it's not something I push on other people. For me, those things feel so natural. I love having my babies close and I don't really push newborn schedules or milestones. I really just like to let things happen...but, I do believe that there is a time for structure and discipline and boundaries. It's just not always easy to see the parenting mistakes you're making especially in the midst of the storm. Breastfeeding was one of those "storms" for me....
I remember when I was pregnant with my first little one and while I knew I wanted to breastfeed, it was hard to completely wrap my head around the concept. And when that first little guy came into the world (let's just say his arrival was a little dramatic...), breastfeeding was not.exactly.easy. There was pain and sleeplessness and allergies and, ugh, it was rough for a while. But, absolutely worth it!! I remember giving myself tiny little "deadlines" and then when I would reach say 6 weeks then I would extend the date some more. After a rough start, and with LOTS of perseverance, I nursed my first little guy for 21 months and my second for a bit longer than that. It was definitely easier the second time around!!
Let me just say that this post did not come out the way I had planned when I sat down to right it.... That could be due to the fact that my oldest little man had dental surgery today...on his teeth...because of breastfeeding...! There I said it!! I am a HUGE fan of breastfeeding, but I have major mom guilt for ruining my babies teeth! No one ever told me that I should be careful with nighttime nursing because of dental decay. Sure, {some} disagreed with my free spirit ways, but that was more because of my lack of a schedule or my not worrying about when they walked or how we snuggle at bedtime. But, nobody said, you know, breastfeeding throughout the night for a prolonged period of time is not good for their teeth. I know I should have figured that out on my own, but I didn't. And when you find yourself in survival mode from lack of sleep or you're walking through a rough patch, you don't really think about really.obvious.to.everyone.else things.
So, listen.... Maybe you know better and you're shaking your head about my mom fail. (You really shouldn't, you know, because most of us are just doing the very best we can to love all those blessings in our life.) But, maybe you're in the midst of motherhood and there's no time for baby schedule books or solitary bathroom breaks....
The next little one (hopefully He has more planned for us!) won't get the luxury of nursing back to sleep at night after the newborn stage. See, I've learned my lesson! Our little guy was extremely apprehensive about the dentist and this was the only way to take care of his cavities. And believe me, I exhausted all our options beforehand because the last thing I wanted was to have him put under.... It's all taken care of now (for him) and the littlest guy is next. :(
So if you're wondering why I'm sharing this, I actually couldn't decide if I wanted to at first. It's just that God has been doing a big work in me and I'm not afraid to just be myself these days. (Also, while I was reconsidering, one of my closest friends said 'maybe you should share it on your blog'!! And I said 'Ok, Ok, Lord!) And if just one tired momma reads this and realizes that extended nursing at bedtime can cause some major tooth issues, then it was worth writing this post!! Although, I really think the lesson here for me is bigger than that....
Hey, being a wife and mother is wild and exhausting and brain altering...! It's WONDERFUL, too, but we could all use a helpful hint every now and then.
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| a peace offering |
So, I'm curious... What mothering/parenting "hint" do you wish someone would have told you before you had to figure it out the hard way?? Please share!
5 comments:
Thank you for sharing this! As someone who is about to embark on the journey to motherhood (the hubs and I will start trying this summer, unless God decides otherwise) and it's always fun to learn new things about the do's and don'ts of motherhood. So thank you for sharing!
Thanks for sharing. Someone told me this when my daughter was 6 months old... I honestly didn't believe her at first. I googled and then worked on cutting gout those night feeds. But oh, how I used them still when I was exhausted a few moe times... I wouldn't have stopped if she hasn't said anything.
what a great post. we breastfed for a year, but my supply definitely started to diminish around 9 months. i always said though i would do it until she either no longer wanted to or if my supply went away. and by 1 year, it went away.
I am so glad you shared this! Unfortunately breastfeeding didn't work with my son, but I am hoping that it works a little better with our next child. I didn't know that nighttime breastfeeds can lead to dental decay!
As Momma's we all have failures. It's nice to have some women share them and make sure others don't repeat those failures.
Thanks for the tip! Lulu is almost 7 months and still nursing 3-5 times per night. She doesn't have any teeth yet, so I'm guessing it's not an issue. But you never know, could be any day! I will do some research asap. And by the way, thanks for getting real on your blog. It's a blessing!
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